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Making the Hard Changes in Me

This weekend, I am sitting through a Soul Care conference with Rob Reimer. Let's just say...it really is soul care.


As my friend and I walked in for the first day, we were both nervous. Nervous to dive deep into whatever was going to come out of our souls, the self-defeating patterns of our life that we need to let go of. Brutal honesty within ourselves. For me, I just had to close my eyes and dive in. Open my mind to whatever was going to come to me. The first day was rather eye opening for sure.


As I got up to walk on the treadmill this morning before heading off for our second day, I listened to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope message. It was about change. Making the hard changes in yourself.


The self-defeating patterns were yet again brought to light. What patterns in my life do I identify with, but are actually harmful to being who I really need to be? I think of it as "what is my idol, my identity?" Is the identity for myself found in my work (workaholic), food (overeating, social eating with friends), financial (the desire for worldly possessions)...you get the point. Where is my (your) identity found? What am I trying to prove? Who am I trying to please?


In the Soul Care conference, along with Pastor Rick's message this morning, we are challenged to ask ourselves:


  • What lie am I believing?

  • What subconscious payoffs am I getting for this self-defeating behavior?

  • What unresolved guilt am I compensating for?


Big questions. Ones that most of us run from. BUT - if you want to truly change, you need to make the hard choices. If you say to yourself, "I am never going to change, it's hopeless." You're wrong. You can do it. If you keep saying, "I will always be fat, be poor, be sad, be a workaholic, want to drink alcohol, never want to workout/exercise, it is hopeless," then your right - you will never change. But, that is a lie you are telling yourself.


Maybe you are afraid that if you change, it will rock your boat too much. "If I stop drinking, no one will want to hang with me, I won't fit in." "If I stop working so hard, I may lose my job and the title I have earned." The lies and insecurities go on and on. We are afraid of what we will lose when we make the tough choices. The consequence of not doing what you want because you don't know how people will react is only hurting you. You only have ONE person to please, that is God. Trust me, people will be happier around you when you are happier with yourself. Let the ways of the world, the people pleasing, the old self-defeating patterns go.


Make the tough change. It is all between your own two ears. Take off your old self. Learn about the lies you are telling yourself. Face the truth. Make the change. Start today.


P.S. If you would like a copy of the Soul Care book, it is amazing, and it will start you on the path of self-discovery. Please request one on my blog - I will send you one.



If you would like a copy of any of the devotionals or books I reference, please send me an email (button below) and I would be happy to send you one. Please reference the title of the post/devotional to ensure I send you the correct devotional/author. See my mission in the "About Me" link.


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About Me

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My overall goal is to help create healthy, happy humans through sharing the Christian Wisdom and Servant Leadership principles as I discover them along the way.  I also have a very aggressive goal in life....

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